高级写作-18及答案解析.doc

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1、高级写作-18 及答案解析(总分：8.00，做题时间：90 分钟)一、写作题(总题数：2，分数：8.00)1.PART ONEQuestion 1 The graph below shows the turnover for three kinds of retail outlet, all owned by the same company, during a three-year period. Using the information from the graph, write a short report comparing the changes in turnover in th

2、e companys three types of outlet. Write 120-140 words.（分数：2.00）_PART TWOWrite an answer to ONE of the questions 2-4 in this part. Write your answer in 200-250 words.（分数：6.00）(1).Question 2 Your company would like to break into a new overseas market with your new range of sports goods. You have been

3、asked by Marketing Director to investigate ways of doing this. Write your report for the Marketing Director, including the following information: how you carried out your research into the market, the existing competition, your target customers, ways of promoting the products in the new market.（分数：2

4、.00）_(2).Question 3 Recently you have become unhappy with a service that has been provided to your company for a number of years. You have decided to write a letter of complaint to the service provider. Write your letter to the company that provides the service, including the following information:

5、which service you are complaining about, why you are dissatisfied with the service, what action you want the service provider to take, what you will do if there is no improvement in the service.（分数：2.00）_(3).Question 4 Your Managing Director is considering how to improve the companys internal commun

6、ications, and has asked you to write a short proposal giving your views on communication within your department. Write the proposal for the Managing Director, including the following information: describing how communication currently takes place within your department, pointing out the weaknesses o

7、f the present situation, recommending one or two improvements that should be made.（分数：2.00）_高级写作-18 答案解析(总分：8.00，做题时间：90 分钟)一、写作题(总题数：2，分数：8.00)1.PART ONEQuestion 1 The graph below shows the turnover for three kinds of retail outlet, all owned by the same company, during a three-year period. Using t

8、he information from the graph, write a short report comparing the changes in turnover in the companys three types of outlet. Write 120-140 words.（分数：2.00）_正确答案：(Below is a report on the changes in turnover for three kinds of retail outlet, owned by one company, over a three-year period.The overall h

9、ighest turnover of eight million pounds was obtained by supermarkets in 2002. On the other hand, the smallest turnover was made in small shops in 2001.Over the year 2000, a turnover of fifty million pounds was reached in department stores, whereas it then plummeted to about thirty-five million pound

10、s in 2001 and maintained this position throughout 2002.The supermarkets turnover rose steadily from 2000, reaching its peak in 2002 with eighty million pounds.Clearly, small shops had the smallest turnover altogether. Thirty million pounds in 2000, a noticeable drop to twenty million in 2001 and a s

11、light increase of five million in 2002.In conclusion, the highest results were achieved by supermarkets, followed by department stores and then small shops.)解析：解析 该习作能够较好地完成写作任务，属于第四档的作文。从任务完成的角度看，我们不难发现，作者能够完成题目规定的写作任务，并且涵盖了图表中的所有内容。作者不是简单地描述图表上的数字，而是能在观察分析之后，归纳出三种销售门店在不同年份营业额的高低比较结果，例如第二段，并且还能描述某一

12、个特定的零售门店在三年内营业额的增减趋势，例如第四段。在语言上，我们看出作者对词汇和语法有较好的把握，但是文章中也有一些小的错误。比如，第四段“The supermarkets turnover”就出现了语法错误，名词所有格应当在 supermarkets后边加一个“”。此外，文章的结构组织也比较合理，首先作者对三个零售门店进行总体比较，然后再分别一一分析每个门店的总体情况，并且文章采用“总分总”的形式。并且在文章中能较合理地运用连接词，例如 whereas；in conclusion，使得表达流畅，逻辑严谨。PART TWOWrite an answer to ONE of the ques

13、tions 2-4 in this part. Write your answer in 200-250 words.（分数：6.00）(1).Question 2 Your company would like to break into a new overseas market with your new range of sports goods. You have been asked by Marketing Director to investigate ways of doing this. Write your report for the Marketing Directo

14、r, including the following information: how you carried out your research into the market, the existing competition, your target customers, ways of promoting the products in the new market.（分数：2.00）_正确答案：(Report concerning a new overseas marketIntroductionThis report sums up the results of my invest

15、igation in overseas markets, according to what was demanded by the Marketing Director.FindingsStaying a few weeks in this part of the World allowed me to collect precious information about the market, buying habits, competitors, and to gather complete figures and statistics.I could carry out a marke

16、t research interviewing potentials consumers on the street or even in sports shop. Then I had the opportunity to test local competitors products and to visit production premises.Furthermore, I analysed the data and found out two mains competitors, X and Y, who both share half of the total market. Th

17、e others competitors are small companies representing few percentage of global sales.Finally, teenagers are the biggest consumers. In fact, 30% of them buy regularly sports articles, while adults declare only buying once a year. Therefore, the main target profile would be a 15-year-old to 25-year-ol

18、d male.ConclusionsIn my opinion, this market would be a great change for the development of the company and I then recommend breaking into it.RecommendationsI suggest carrying out an advertisement campaign in order to make them know there is a new competitor. Then consumers are attracted by sales pr

19、omotion like price reductions and I propose launching our products this way.Last but not least, we could starting offering three products to the price to two.)解析：解析 该习作基本能够完成写作任务，属于第三档的作文。首先作者能够基本完成写作任务，但是有一些任务有所遗漏。此外我们能发现本文中许多的语言错误，例如：在句子“Furthermore，I analyzed the data and found out two mains comp

20、etitors，X and Y.”中，“mains”后边的“s”应当去掉；在句子“I propose launching our products this way”中，正确的句子应当是“I propose launching our products in this way.”诸如此类的语言错误还有很多，但是基本上不太影响读者的理解。另外作者在努力地使用超出自己能力的词汇和表达，但是由于作者对语言的运用能力不是很自如，导致这些表达略显笨拙。例如在 Introduction中，“according to what was demanded by the Marketing Director.”

21、作者原本想使用一个宾语从句，但是这种用法导致了表达过于繁琐，反而不如直接使用“according to the Marketing Directors demand”使得表达清晰简洁。最后，这个题目应当要求作者写一个正式的商务报告，但是，在口吻上作者大量地使用“I could”、“I suggest”等表达，降低了商务报告的客观公正性。其实作者完全可以用被动句或者“It is suggested that”来处理这个习作。(2).Question 3 Recently you have become unhappy with a service that has been provided t

22、o your company for a number of years. You have decided to write a letter of complaint to the service provider. Write your letter to the company that provides the service, including the following information: which service you are complaining about, why you are dissatisfied with the service, what act

23、ion you want the service provider to take, what you will do if there is no improvement in the service.（分数：2.00）_正确答案：(Dear Mr. Smith,We have been using your company for a number of years, however, recently we have experienced some problems with the quality of products and delays in delivery.As our c

24、ustomers have been devotedly visiting our shop for years purchasing the best quality products, we feel obliged to make some remarks.Not only have we notice that the date for which dairy products should be consumed was extended but also in some yogurts we found that the labels describing the content

25、were misleading. A cherry yogurt turned out to be a strawberry one. Furthermore, bottles of milk were not sealed properly which resuhed in leaking and making the milk go off quicker.On top of everything, there have been delays in delivery if not a non-delivery that occurred already a few times.We tr

26、ust you will give this matter your immediate attention and that everything will get back to normal, as we would still like to use your service. We hope it is just a temporary disposition. Sadly, however, we have to state clearly, that if no improvement will be made both with the quality of items and

27、 delivery we will have to change the suppliers, for our customers sake and our reputation.Yours Sincerely,Aneta Mroczek)解析：解析 该习作较好地完成了写作任务，是一篇属于第四档的作文。首先作者能够较全面地完成写作任务，涵盖了题目中要求的所有内容。作者使用语言较为自然，表达流畅，词汇使用也较为丰富，能够运用诸如“be obliged to”、“result in”、“immediate”、“temporary”等词汇。在文章的前三段出现了大量的复合句式和较为复杂的表达。例如：在

28、第二段中使用由“as”引导的原因状语从句；第三段中用“Not onlybut also”的句式，且在句子中使用了倒装结构。但是值得注意的是，这篇文章中也有一些小的语言缺陷，例如在第一段“We have been using your company”，此处如果换成“We have cooperated with your company“则表达会更加准确和地道。最后从这封信的口吻上来看，作者使用的语言也较为谦虚和礼貌，符合题目要求的写作风格。(3).Question 4 Your Managing Director is considering how to improve the compa

29、nys internal communications, and has asked you to write a short proposal giving your views on communication within your department. Write the proposal for the Managing Director, including the following information: describing how communication currently takes place within your department, pointing o

30、ut the weaknesses of the present situation, recommending one or two improvements that should be made.（分数：2.00）_正确答案：(Making communication betterWe have 10 people working in our admin department. All kind of communication between each other is very important and it needs to be quick and affective. At

31、 the moment we do send e-mails for sharing happening in every day basis. We also have a weekly meeting where some of us get together and look over the subjects from previous week and also make plans for the up coming ones. There is also someone there to make notes which will be typed over to correct

32、 minutes and sent to everybody who attended the meeting.My concern is that on those meetings we dont have the whole admin team present and therefore many times we have talked on the behalf of the ones who are not attending. This kind of communication might bring miscommunication to place.To resolve

33、this matter I think that we should have everybody on that weekly meeting to get correct information from the fight people.At least it is worth to have a go.Best regards,Kaie Sirak)解析：解析 这是一篇较差的习作，属于第二档。首先，作者不能很好地完成写作任务，遗漏了很多内容，例如在题目中要求作者指出目前公司内部交流存在的问题，但是，作者在第一段中描述了现状之后，并没有在第二段完全指出这些现状所一一对应的问题是哪些，就更

34、谈不上他针对这些问题提出意见了。其次，我们发现在文章中有很多的语言错误，无论是拼写上的还是语法或者搭配上的，这些错误都影响了读者对文章的理解。例如：“All kind of communication”应该是 “All kinds of communication”、“in every day basis“、“on the behalf of”都是搭配错误；并且第二段第一句话中：“My concern is that on those meetings we dont have the whole admin team present”就出现了表达错误，如果改成“It is obvious that there is no need for the whole admin team to attend those meetings“ 就台能更好一点了。此外，在文中，作者很少使用连接词，这样导致文章的逻辑性不强，前后的衔接不自如。